Falling in Love all over again!!

Its now 6 years past that I have been married to this smart and intelligent young soul "Ganesh". Unlike every husband, he has his flaws of not expressing his love as a wife expects, not giving the quality time as expected by the wife, and the list goes on. But, that does not stop me from loving him. I love his flaws too as I love this handsome hunk!!! 

The day 29th June 2016, was unlike any other day. Get up, cook, get ready and rush for office to login On-time. But, a small difference was, Chennai had a beautiful weather and it was raining all night and was a cool drizzling morning! It was too romantic a day, to spend a good time with your beloved. Wish I had a magic wand and could make a wish and we both disappear in the air and find ourselves among the nature and in each other's arms... aaahhhh!!! What a thought... I love myself of being so romantic and expressive in what I think ;) ... And then I come back to reality of the nature, where I need to hurry and make sure I do not miss the local train and end up late in office. 

We (husband & wife duo) as usual rush to the crowded platform and board the train just entering the platform. Me in the Ladies compartment and he in the adjacent First Class compartment. The train pulls off, and from where I stand, I see a tall guy in his red colored jerkin near the door. As the speed increases, the drizzle hits his face and he tries to defend the drops coming his way. The cool breeze takes it turn and passes through his hair making it sway to is tune. I stand there frozen by the handsome look of the guy and the perfect manliness. And suddenly I hear the song in my head "Thalli Pogathe..." (meaning do not go away from me) and realize it is from the mobile which is connected by the headset and is the perfect timing. The lyrics make me feel as if I am singing to this guy who has stolen my heart yet again. As each station comes by, I see him get down for the people to get down and board and keep looking at him so that he does not miss the train and board back safely in the crowd. On the other hand, I keep a note of the station that I need to get down, else it will be a double work for me to come back. In the past, I have missed my station day dreaming or reading and had to take the return train to my station. 

Now, back to this handsome hunk, he didn't even notice me looking or rather admiring his every move and every time he tried looking towards where I stood, my heart skipped a beat. The station came where we had to get down and I hurried and started walking with the crowd to be on time to office. In the meanwhile, looking around casually to see if I see this guy again somewhere ahead of me so that I can double and go near him. Slowly, but in a steady pace, I take the stairs down and I see him walking just in front of me. I double my steps and make my way just beside him and before I could think or decide, I hold his hands tight in mine. He looked at me and gave a heart melting smile. I started blushing and was pink all over. What a moment it was... I can cherish that moment always. It felt so comfortable when he made sure to hold my hand tightly, and whispered softly, "Your hands are so cold!!" "Yes, they are. That is why I am holding your warm hands Ganesh!!" was my reply with a smile which was 1000 watts and I felt the love that we had for each other.

We held our hands tight, as if new lovers or newly married couples, until we took our autos to our respective workplace. I was smiling all the way to office as I realized that I love this Man even more than what I did when we got married or before that. He not just loves me but loves and bears with all my tantrums that comes out only in front of him. I fight with him for no or silliest reasons, and make faces and do not talk to him for hours. But, he never gave up on me or his love for me. I know somewhere inside, he would be comparing me with other perfect shaped and attitude wife/women. I try my best to fit in that category and fail most of the time. But, I do not see him not love me. As most of the men or husbands, to be precise, he is not as much expressive as I expect him to be. Ganesh, was, is, and will be mine forever! For me he has been everything and much more than what I had wished for. And as days, weeks and years pass by, my LOVE for him will only grow.

A mother will be there forever!

I always find my Mother, one who can guide and support me unconditionally! Love of course is unconditional. 

Feeling happy, call my mother to share and feel the smile here 300 kms away from her. Feeling sad, call her and yes she can make me feel much better and start the day super fresh! She is the first person who never judges me and accepts me as what I am, and the second being my Dad. He has hardly said that I need to change the way I am, rather he just says, "Jane, do and follow what is right."

This blog is for my mother, she has not just given me birth, but she keeps telling me what actually I am. I cant even imagine, if I will be anything like her for my Son. A simple conversation between us:-

Mom:- (As usual sounding positive) Hello! How are you?
Me:- (Normal tone) Hi ma! I am ok... How are you? And what are you doing?
Mom:- I am good and getting ready to visit the doctor for our monthly diabetes check-up.
Me:- Ohh... both of you?
Mom:- Yes, but what happened to you? You don't sound as usual.
Me:- Ma... Do married women always compromise?
Mom:- Jane... Its not about married or unmarried, its not about women or men... all human have to compromise to have a happy life. If we do not compromise, we can't live. From birth to the death, we have to do that.
Me:- Ma... but what if I compromise more and live less?
Mom:- (Laughing out loud) You sound like your Dad now. But, no we don't, we live that is why we compromise. And more than men, women have a special feature, which is called "Being Unconditional". Whatever you do, do it unconditionally. Love, respect, care, help, appreciate, enjoy, smile, laugh unconditionally. Even get angry unconditionally... and you know why?
Me:- (Confused) Why?
Mom:- In that anger also we women have love. We can get angry and fight with people whom we love, respect and want forever. Do you fight with full anger with a man or a women who bumps on you while walking on the road?
Me:- No I just stare at them and carry on.
Mom:- Yes, that is because we don't even know them. When you fight with your husband or friends or parents, you love them so much that you fight with all anger and show your emotions to them. Then, when you make-up, its just the Love which conquers you.
Me:- (Thinking again what was said) But ma... it is said control your anger and be a pleasant person, the world will accept you better.
Mom:- (Laughing) Yes of course, we should control anger... and make sure we do not use any bad words and become violent. Rather unconditional here means, where you put your thoughts of how uncomfortable you feel about the things around you. An open and emotional conversation between the people, so that you are understood well and what you want is reasonable to or not and what can be done further to make it comfortable.
Me:- (Again confused) Ma... this is nothing but communication.
Mom:- You and your literature! Think again what I told you. You will understand if it is "Being Unconditional" or "Communication". And I know you will get your answer. You are not a dumbo.
Me:- (Final a smile on my face) Ok ma... But what about compromise? Do I have to compromise also unconditionally?
Mom:- (Laughing) For who do you think you can compromise?
Me:- (Thinking) Of course, for my son, you, dad, Irwin, Ganesh, my  mom & dad in law. And some of my friends, if required.
Mom:- Good... So just as you do other things unconditionally, compromise with them also unconditionally. You will be happy. Simple. Why are you complicating Jane?
Me:- No ma... for them no problem... I can and will be... But other than them, do I have to compromise unconditionally?
Mom:- (In a straight tone) Jane... you think a lot. Stop making knots and if you think you cant compromise, just say why you cannot and stay with your decision.
Me:- (Sad tone) But... people try convincing me to compromise.
Mom:- That is what is your problem. You complicate things. If you are given a better option which you feel comfortable, get convinced and compromise. Else, just stay with your decision. And remember, do not react, be calm and let people know you are not comfortable. You need not do everything that others ask you to do. You are an "Individual" you have your choices, and its your life. Keep things very straight and do what is right. Never go for the wrong path.
Me:- (Sounding a bit clear in thought) Yes ma. I think I am only complicating. I think too much.
Mom:- (Laughing) Just like your Dad. He keeps saying "What if others do not like it? , "What if it becomes a problem?" I tell him clearly, if other do not like or have a problem, it is their problem, you cannot have the whole big world supporting you and maximum you need to make sure, are the people who you love feel happy about it.
Me:- (Happy tone) Seriously ma... You are so correct!
Mom:- (Proud tone) Of course I am... But what to do, you, Irwin & your Dad don't appreciate for all what I am.
Me:- No ma... I know you are "An Iron Women" you are One strong women I wish to be like. Its just that we do not say that to you so often.
Mom:- (Laughing) Ohh... you will be. Do not worry!
Me:- (Thinking) Ma... Aren't you getting late for the check-up.
Mom:- Nothing can be so important for me than you. I shall call you probably by afternoon. Or give me a call once you get free from your office work. I will wait for your call.
Me:- (Almost in tears) Yeah ma... you carry on. I shall call you later. Bye!
Mom:- Bye... and take care. Be what you are and don't confuse yourself.

I hang the phone and think again and again what my Mom told me. There is so much meaning to all what she has said and every bit should be followed. We only complicate and make too many knots on to the simple problems. It's better to keep things simple... "If you like it... you like it... if you do not like... you do not like" That is it... Why add ifs and buts??

And yes of course, Women, everything about them is exceptional and UNCONDITIONAL!!

Salute to all the Women! :-)

Dilwale - A New Experience!

I was looking forward to watch this movie in the big screen, being a fan of Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. My expectation was not very high, I went to just enjoy the pair, songs and was prepared for the "Rohit Shetty stunts". He has his own way of making the movie. His movies have no big concept/story. It's an entertainment with everything in it, romance, songs, sentiments, family, friends, love, fights, stunts, revenge, enmity, fun, comedy, dialogues, colors, locations and everything else a movie should have. My whole mindset was to see the lovely pair on big screen and enjoy the songs. 

Apart from all this, I was prepared to have a new experience. Taking my ever hyper, naughty, curious Son "Nitin" for this movie..... Phew! I was nervous through out the movie that he might end up crying or start his tantrums. But to my surprise, he was a well behaved kiddo. He enjoyed the loud music/sound. The stunts kept him occupied, as he saw many cars racing, flying, dashing and burning. In the comedy scenes while the theater bursted into laughter, he too laughed as if he understood the situation. He had never seen a big screen with so many people seated in dark. He was amazed by the whole atmosphere and was glued to Ganesh's lap. He too enjoyed the songs, as he loves songs played loud. This is a kind of practice we have given him at home, as Ganesh loves playing music loud and he keeps nodding or dancing to the beat. Hence, the situation seemed quite favorable. Towards the end, there were too many dialogues only, hence he became a bit restless and to manage that we handed him the eatables got from home and some of the things we bought from the stalls in the Cinema.

About the movie... only good things, the lovely pair, songs and some of the best locations. Other than this, I hardly found anything very impressive about it. Its a typical "Rohit Shetty Movie". Shah Rukh & Kajol are presented really well, but when seen closely, the wrinkles on the face and the loose skin on the fingers are visible and make me feel bad that, this great couple who still top the list, are getting old. I grew-up watching their movies and singing their songs. Time does fly off and its time we just LOVE and not Fight!

There is a simple yet strong message I got from the movie, which was said by Shah Rukh, "If we had a bad past, let it fade with the past and lets not talk about it to anyone or among ourselves. Small things like this do happen in Big places."

We all should start focusing on what all good things we should start doing rather than thinking and discussing about the bad things we went through in the past. I know its very difficult to forget it, but lets try!  

Don't Judge a Girl/Women... Instead Understand and Respect Her!

I read the below from Women's Era and wanted to keep it in my blog and share with as many possible.

I have edited some of them, but not much. It spoke my heart out. 

Not intended to hurt or advise anyone, but for everyone to start following it! 

Not every girl wants to get married by the age 23. So before you ASSUME she's of marriageable age, ask her what her views on marriage are. One hint, might save you the drama. Some points to let you understand her better:-

1. Just because she does not want to get married now does not mean she never will. She has other plans right now, let her live a little

2. Just because a girl wishes to do her PhD after Masters does not mean she doesn't want to settle down in life. Give her a break, and respect the fact that she has the confidence to take that up, cos yeah, PhD is no joke. There will come a point when she would happily devote herself to her family, and balance it out with her work life. Her degrees, or lack of them, won't make any difference. Let her study while she wants to

3. Just because she is 27 and unmarried does not mean she's been rejected by many men. Maybe, being single is a choice she has made

4. Just because she is unmarried and has a boyfriend does not make her characterless

5. Just because she has recently gone through a break up doesn't mean she is vulnerable and available

6. Just because most of her friends are boys, does not mean she is "having a good time" with all of them

7. Just because she has a drink in her hand does not mean she is an alcoholic

8. Just because she wore a short skirt to one party does not mean she dresses up that way every day

9. Just because she is ambitious doesn't mean she isn't a family person

10. Just because she doesn't discuss her plans doesn't mean she's clueless about life. Give her a chance, she will make things better

11.Just because she is outspoken doesn't mean she is a rebel

12. Just because she comes home late from work does not mean she is sleeping around with her colleagues

13. After a hectic week, give her some time to relax over the weekend. Don't make that one weekend party make her look like a she's a frivolous party-girl without a job

14. Just because she is out shopping alone does not mean she is depressed or lonely. It's how she relaxes, respect that

15. Just because she is on a holiday alone does not mean she doesn't have company. Maybe it's a break to get back her lost confidence, or maybe that's how she is. Admire her spirit instead of giving her advice

16. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean she can't kick ass in military school

17. Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she is attention seeking. Maybe that's her way of expression

18. Just because she doesn't know how to cook doesn't mean she won't make a good wife. Remember when our mom once tried a new recipe which turned out to be a disaster. We just laughed over it and ordered food from outside

19. Just because she likes everything pink and shiny and fluffy doesn't mean she lives in her own world. She can handle some situations much better than her male counterparts

20. Just because she is pretty does not mean she is a whore. And just because she is friendly does not mean she is flirting

Yes, we girls/women cry, we are emotional; we take things personally, and sometimes over-react to situations. But this does not give any one the right to judge us in the wrong way. Times are changing; don't confine us within those boundaries, no matter how orthodox you are. There are some who might be fighting this losing battle, yet compromising on their decisions and plans, just to please society.

Respect the girl/women! We too want to live our way, as you do…!

A Miracle Always beside me!

My sleep broke with a bad shoulder and back pain. I searched for the mobile to check the time, and it showed 5:45 AM. Lying on the bed, was feeling so negative about the morning. Had questions like, "Why me? Why am I supposed to face such kind of pain? How the hell did 7 hours pass by? I need more sleep... I will not get up... I will not go to office... I do not want to do anything but just keep lying on the bed. Let people think and do whatever they want to do." I actually had no reasons to get up and start the morning. With my sleep gone and my eyes closed, I was almost on tears and felt sleep deprived. 

I started thinking of the days, when I was single and had enough time for myself. I never used to worry about getting up early, cooking, cleaning & washing. I had always reached office on time and was not worried of leaving by 6:30 PM. Weekends were the days when I can be in bed for hours or sleep whenever I liked to. While being with mom, get up as and when I wished, and had my breakfast ready on the dinning table. With my plate full of my mom made food, glued in front of the TV. The moment I needed something to be refilled on my plate, just call out loud " Maaa, chutney and one more dosa." Have tummy full, put the plate in the sink and back to the TV. Chat about anything and everything with my dad or brother, which used to slowly turn to a controversial conversation. If bored or felt sleepy, never bothered or cared about anything, just get into the bed and sleep as much. While in office, and suddenly when the team planned to eat outside, just took the bike and reach the nearest eat out and relished the best food. All the movies were watched by me with either my brother's gang or with my friends. Made sudden plans on weekends and go shopping or took long drives to enjoy the weather. Life was all about Me and My wishes!

So much had changed over the 5 years of my being married. At that very moment I wanted to go back to those days, when I made my choices of what to do and when to do. I turned on my right and saw my husband sleeping peacefully. I wished some magic happened and I was back to those days. I was so upset with nothing going as per my plan in these years. I wanted to enjoy all the small moments and feel happy waking up in the morning. All these thoughts kept running in my mind, and I dug my face in my pillow and prayed hard to witness some miracle immediately. And suddenly heard a small voice, a baby cry. I jumped out of my pillow and sat on the bed and pulled out the feeding bottle and handed it over to my Son sleeping beside me.  

In the dim light, I could see his face very clearly, with his eyes closed tightly, taking his feed from the bottle. Sleeping peacefully knowing that I am there to make sure he gets his morning feed and when done, I take the bottle and place it back in its place and put the blanket properly on him to make sure he is cozy and comfortable. In his sleep he turned towards me and hugged me. And that moment, I realized, I have the MIRACLE BESIDE ME! My prayer was answered instantly. 

My reason to get up and start my day is My Son!

Namma Chennai :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKMyYO2g6Fc

I saw this video from Anirudh and I loved it, as it spoke my heart. The place Chennai is indeed an awesome place to be. A terrific and the best home for the people who have been here for years and now in other parts of the world. Just ask them, if you want to come back to Chennai and they say, "Yes, of course!!!" This is the "HOME".

I came to Chennai in 2005 May for my job and less did I know that I will love this place and would be associated forever. For me, I found my love of life! And he made me love this city even more. You ask for something, and I bet, you will get it in Chennai. From food to costumes to jewelries to accessories to anything. This place has everything. You have the top brands, sophisticated malls, hotels, temples, churches, beach and of course the huge Film Industry and Sports. 

When Ranjnikanth's movie releases, the whole city is celebrating and waiting to watch it first day first show. It is like a festival, and we know it will be a blockbuster hit. When Chennai Super Kings, get on the crease to bat or bowl, we know the match is in our hands and we are the winners. Every ball is watched as if its is the winning shot. City celebrates, when the match is won by the Chennai Super Kings. MS Dhoni is not a Chennai man, but he loves Chennai. And yes, we too love Dhoni. 

The City has its own charm, every place is an identity of itself. Chennai is crazy hot in summer, people hate it, but we don't leave the place. We go on and bear it hoping to witness the rain god blessing us. And when it rains, we love it like never before and as if miracles have happened. Chennai and the people are always hyper and full of energy. Weekends are the best, you can see people in all major places, just to enjoy the evening or the shopping. We do criticize about the crowd everywhere, but on the other side, feel happy to see people enjoying every bit of Chennai.

For the people, who have never been to Chennai, just enter the place once, and you will see the friendly people and atmosphere, that will make you fall in love. Don't even worry if you don't know Tamil (Tamil is widely spoken language). All the auto people understand sign language and make sure to step into "Namma Auto" to help you read the meter as you take a ride in the city. 

To talk about the food, from coffee to pizza, we have it here. The best being Saravana Bhavan/Hot Chips filter coffee, idlies, dosa and for the non-vegetarians the mouth watering birayni from Thalapakatti/Buhari. These are the must if you are in Chennai. 

You want to shop, go to T-Nagar, Pondy Bazaar where you wont come out without minimum of 3 bags full of things. Malls like Express Avenue, Phoenix, Spencers (first ever mall in Chennai), Ampa (Sky-walk) will help you with all kind of brands you ask for. 

The city on the other side is filled with talents praised in the World - AR Rehman, Kamal Hasan, Rajinikanth, APJ Abdul Kalam... ohhh the list goes on. 

Chennai does have traffic, and the price hiking. Autowalas looting you in the name of no meter. Yes, we do have flaws in the city, but if you are smart, you will love the city with all your heart. The place, is mixed with all good and the bad. But, the ultimate thing is, it is a HOME. A safe, secure, welcoming and a friendly place to be.

Come to Chennai to experience Love, Laughter, Fun, Energy and Friendship.

PS:- I am not from Tamil Nadu tourism department. :P
I just love this city. :D

Modern Women & Traditional Dress - An Irony

I loved this post on facebook from the page "Break the Stereotypes". I am a similar kind of a person. I love wearing sarees, chudidhars, bangles, bindis, hair tied neatly with flowers, and much more. And according to me Saree is the commonly accepted Traditional dress in India. Whenever there is a traditional day, a must is a saree than a chudidhar.

But, when I wear saree and go out, I have to be really extra careful. Making sure all the loose ends are pinned properly and no skin is seen. I have to make sure I check my saree every now and then. The hair of course, as I need to make sure the flowers are tact with the hair pins and hair to be always neat. Check my bindi and bangles and make sure there is no unnecessary noise made by my bangles when in a meeting in office. It really gets tougher when in office to lead a normal day. By the time, I am back home, I just want to get rid of the saree and get into my night gown or pajamas. Let the hair drop loose or tuck it well with a clutch clip.

If travelling by public transport to office and back, then that's it. I have to be cautious like crazy, have to make sure not to raise my hand. Keep an alert eye to make sure, no random person is looking at me. Even before stepping out of the house, I have to ask Ganesh and my mom-in-law to check on me from all angles and certify that I am covered enough.

Why so much fuss for a Saree? Saree, is not only our traditional dress but its the typical Indian costume. I feel, its not the modernization that has stopped the girls to wear saree on a daily basis. Its the caution that the girls have to go through in that costume has made it a so called "traditional dress".

I would rather say, even when you wear a long kurta with proper fitting and dupatta draped around you, still men take a second look at you. Why so? I feel so helpless and unfortunate to be in such a society. Even while going for my diwali shopping, the only thing I did was to make sure whatever dress I buy is covering my neck, the kurta is loose enough, long to cover even my knees and ofcourse the cloth is thick.

Every girl this day, has to take a proper look at herself from top to bottom before she leaves her house for work to make sure her dressing is fine enough so that no insane man looks at her cheaply.

I feel sad that, the lovely Saree, "Costume of India" is considered as a traditional dress by all the Women of today, rather than a everyday wear.